marriage

“Not always the kindest person” – The best advice I’ve ever received

My grandmother is an intimidating woman. She and I have not always gotten along very well. Probably because in the end we are too much alike. I think I got my stubbornness from her and her love of a good “debate” (I call it an argument but potato – potato). She is also one of the smartest people I know.

At my wedding, a big church affair with a long service full of prayers and hymns and sermons, she was a bit out of her element. She does not agree with my family’s faith choices. In fact I think she disagrees pretty wholeheartedly. You can imagine the “debates” we get into there!

The pastor gave a sermon that, I will admit, I hardly listened to but the gist of it was that love is very important and is more than just a feeling (I need to re-watch the wedding video to confirm this since we may or may not have skipped over that part when we watched it the  first time…)

During the reception, which I will always remember as being in a tropical location since there was no air conditioning and it was mid-August, my grandmother grabbed my arm and pulled me close to tell me something. I don’t remember very much from the wedding day, it was a blur, but I vividly vividly remember this moment.

“I know they talked about love and all that nonsense. But here is my advice: Be kind to one another.”

I felt electrocuted.

It’s hard to admit but I’m not always the kindest person. I have a sharp tongue and often Nick is on the receiving end of my pointless outbursts. Usually I’m just thankful that he ignores it or shrugs it off. But when my grandma said that to me I felt exposed, like she somehow knew that that would be the single hardest thing for me to do, to change about myself. Maybe she did know. We are alike after all.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

2 thoughts on ““Not always the kindest person” – The best advice I’ve ever received

    1. Thanks so much! Love can seem really ambiguous, I agree. I often laugh when people talk about “feeling in love”, that’s just endorphins and hormones (very nice feeling though!) I think that love is a choice to act a certain way towards someone, regardless of how you feel that day. It takes a lot of deliberate energy to love someone. I think that’s true of friends, spouse, even your kids some days (I know my mom would agree with that!)

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