A short love letter to and primer on long distance friendship

Originally appeared as a Facebook post on April 24th, 2016

All week God has been impressing upon me the holiness of friendship. The sacred act of intentional intimate relationship. For me friendship has almost exclusively been long distance. Every new deep friendship I know will eventually become long distance given the nomadic nature of my life since I was born. I want to send out an encouragement born of experience: fall deeply in love with your friends, be extravagant in your love for those people, show up and know that distance and time apart CANNOT break what has such strong foundations.

Long distance friendships do take work, mostly heaps of grace and moments of intentionality. Both are doable and will not sap you of energy, both are life-giving acts. Give grace when there is silence, busyness, life is happening and time goes by quick. Be intentional, with no expectations (give freely!), reach out and love on your friend, share with them, check in from time to time. Lots of grace means the intentionality can be more realistic in quantity!

Long distance friendships bloom in my life as trees with deep roots that I can shelter under when life is rough. And new friendships, even in places I know I’ll only be in for a short while, seem totally worth the effort because I know leaving doesn’t have to mean the investment of self is lost.

This is for the TCKs and the ones in transition, for the ones who are tempted to check out before a hard goodbye comes.

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